where's my mom
— ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 3, 2013
doing laundry, looking at internet thinking, 'how did this get here' repeatedly in a frantic monotone — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 7, 2013
been having brief thoughts re lara croft redesign for playstation 4, most of them have been 'you fucking shitheads' and 'get on my level' — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 7, 2013
read previous tweet wrt lara croft as something confessional abt my ex-gf and began panicking — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 7, 2013
bitches and bastards/cóme at me faster/can't nobody consume like this nigga does batter/i'm the fucking finger-licking crispy chicken master — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 7, 2013
thought catalog article titled 'live tweet of my own heart attack' — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 7, 2013
i mean c'mon — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 7, 2013
invented a new term, 'powaii' an amalgam of 'pop', 'punk' and 'kawaii' that inadvertently has the onomatopoeia 'pow' in it — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 7, 2013
wtf is the ACLU — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 9, 2013
things i hate and feel powerless abt: the meat industry, money, girls not just saying 'i want to have sex with you' when they want to do sex — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 11, 2013
don't currently feel very hood about my life — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 12, 2013
hypothesis: if i want my life to not be constant thoughts regarding money, then i must first acquire every single unit of the money — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 12, 2013
'hate' seems like a cuss word, 'love' seems fucked, there don't seem to be specific enough parameters for it's multiplicitous connotations — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 14, 2013
give me internet access and i will flirt shamelessly with girls — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 14, 2013
tweet from my phone but don't say it's a birdcall — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 14, 2013
suddenly felt convinced that every human was genetically programmed to indiscriminately hate me after knowing me a preset amount of time — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 15, 2013
can someone explain to me reasons for 'vegetable oil' seeming consistently repulsive to me in brand and in use — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 15, 2013
just saw two turtle doves, a robin, a cardinal, and a redtail hawk, what is this jurassic park os — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 16, 2013
felt nostalgia for/cried abt a time in my life when i was dying from malnutrition/starvation and had 0x friends — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 17, 2013
hexagon — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 17, 2013
not knowing and not ever wanting to know what it means to 'take something seriously' is a great way to ward off potential life partners ;) — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 17, 2013
tiger — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 17, 2013
xtian xm station has been on for ~15min, have heard arcade fire, owl city, and grizzly bear k-o's but all singers sound just like nickleback — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 18, 2013
i mean c'mon — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 19, 2013
tagline: 'cup her butt with buttercup' — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 19, 2013
k — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 19, 2013
not a rapper — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 19, 2013
❀❀❀❀❀❀❀ — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 19, 2013
i encourage all female humans to run away if/when they see me — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 20, 2013
thought 'why aren't pokémon part of the kingdom hearts universe' w earnest curiosity, having briefly forgotten what 'disney' was — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 20, 2013
@beyonce is your new song part of this ad campaign twitter.com/stephenunedite… — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 21, 2013
@beyonce like is it a national thing, i don't understand how i was targeted... — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 21, 2013
whydid thisbecomepossibleagainwhy didtheystop itinthefirstplace'why?'is a dumbquestion — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 21, 2013
i mean c'mon — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 21, 2013
everything's fucked and nobody at all is allowed to write about it — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 21, 2013
which medium (design, film, writing, art, music) do u ppl familiar w 'my work' discern as 'most affecting'? asking for a friend... — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 21, 2013
fuck brands, i'm an implicit/inconclusive assertion that 'life exists and it's p fucking dumb' — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 22, 2013
thought 'somebody please explain to me...' imagined the edge of the universe and center of my brain switching places, thought 'oh, duh' — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 22, 2013
does anyone know how to stop me pls advise — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 22, 2013
thought 'The Perfect Thing' w no discernible context — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 23, 2013
keep looking at a drawing i did when i was 9 of an anthropomorphized chameleon and thinking 'acacia berries' — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 23, 2013
if life is a game, i'm one of the ppl not winning the game — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 24, 2013
thought 'clearly not the brightest bun in the oven' after reading some princess or duchess got knocked up — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 24, 2013
chugged a latte, i'm shittin, woo — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 24, 2013
i'm body — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 26, 2013
how do i food inside me — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 26, 2013
help... midnight.. — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 26, 2013
wish body would find food... — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 26, 2013
yoga position: downward asparagus — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 26, 2013
want only term for concrete/abstract movement in/out (leave/enter/accept/withdraw) to be 'unleash [preposition]' from this point on — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 26, 2013
watching friends grow up on facebook and the amount of selfies/tagged photos decrease as they become increasingly terrified by their bodies — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 26, 2013
pls someone pls unleash me into a coma — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 26, 2013
feel something resembling concern wrt noticeable lack of sonic fan art in my high school a.p. art portfolio — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 27, 2013
was unaware other ppl discerned a qualitative difference between power rangers action figures and the sistine chapel until about age 17 — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 27, 2013
lol twitter.com/stephenunedite… — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 28, 2013
keep thinking 'the carbs in my stomach keep thinking 'i hate this'' while verbally thinking 'i hate this' — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 28, 2013
k — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 29, 2013
novel titled 'its harf to type when youre in fetal positionanfd your hanfs are large and this is thenereason and result of nio one lovs you' — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 30, 2013
lost/dropped ~$6 box of cigarettes somewhere on '~$12 for a box of cigarettes island' — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) March 31, 2013
clitoris(?) — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 1, 2013
walked in $3 pizza thinking it was $1 pizza, bought pizza and coke bc embarrassed, went to $1 pizza 5 blocks away anyway bc stubborn — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 3, 2013
hi my name is buttercup and im addicted to the sixth series of 'doctor who'... send help — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 4, 2013
i mean c'mon — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 4, 2013
cool tip: adding a shitload of cranberries to things containing pomegranate may briefly reduce awareness of your looming, inevitable death — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 4, 2013
you fuckers need to hurry up and tell my girlfriend to ask me out already, wtf is wrong w y'all — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 4, 2013
thinking about girls i like, trying to discern if they would murder me under a specific set of circumstances, so far it's a unanimous yes — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 4, 2013
minutes away from eating an entire pizza — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 4, 2013
earnestly consider not paying my student loans performance art — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 4, 2013
keep wanting to remember the words 'fragrance' and 'aroma' but when i do, 'smell' consistently seems less shitty — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 4, 2013
vividly inmafinesd self waking vuop(unlikeely) — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 4, 2013
a lot of people i like unfollowed me this past week, is it bc i got fat u guys — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 4, 2013
in high school i openly disliked anime but was considered 'the anime kid' — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 4, 2013
comp lit textbook titled: YOU BASTARD myths, histories, and oral traditions surrounding jesus christ — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 4, 2013
for the past ~7yrs, have assumed i'm seconds from a heart attack/brain aneurism nearly perpetually — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 4, 2013
seasonal i have a lot of tweet drafts disorder — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 4, 2013
considered 'rebranding' as asexual but couldn't discern what i'd write abt... — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 4, 2013
earnestly, almost involuntarily thought the lyrics to evanescence's 'bring me to life' after waking up hung over — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 4, 2013
anyone aware of a means by which any time someone thinks 'i want to do sex w buttercup' i receive 5¢ email stephenmichaelmcdowell at gmail — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 5, 2013
is ibts okay mabsorbate now? my paren's ar selep ;)? — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 6, 2013
i mean c'mon, amirite — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 6, 2013
novel titled 'the unfathomable tragedy of last slice of bread' — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 6, 2013
i'm hexagonal — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 6, 2013
life motto: binge eat granola till you muthafuckin die — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 6, 2013
i'm human but i'm tiger okay — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 6, 2013
if you've been thinking about dating me you should know i owe the government $16,491.78 and have no intention of giving that shithead 1¢ — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 7, 2013
if you've been thinking about dating me you should know 26¢ of the money i owe is income taxes and i don't think it'll 'let me slide' — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 7, 2013
if you've been thinking about being my administrative assistant you should know part of your job will be 'fix stephen's life' to some degree — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 7, 2013
the government wants to 'help' me pay it $$$$$ i owe it but i've only ever met barack obama... is he the government... — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 7, 2013
@destinyschild i rly dont think i can handle this — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 7, 2013
o, but 2 b faded w u... — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 7, 2013
~150 ppl at this church thing, im 1/~5 in their 20s, am the only visibly depressed person, what is wrong w these ppl — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 7, 2013
should i dl a bible app just ffs — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 7, 2013
what if i start using 'h' instead of 'the', what y'all think abt that — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 7, 2013
im dad yall — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 7, 2013
did caffeine for the first time in two weeks this morning twitter.com/stephenunedite… — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 7, 2013
remarkable, really — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 8, 2013
i mean c'mon... — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 8, 2013
'pretweet' or 'PT', short-form utility for referencing 'previous tweets', extrapolate w '[#]x PT...' ur welcome — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 8, 2013
killed a lot of things with my manuscript today in lieu of missing fly swatter — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 8, 2013
warm enough to comfortably wear shorts outside, occupation is now 'insect w stinger/probe-like appendage assassin' instead of 'author' — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 8, 2013
wish there was a thing like turbotax to quantify % desire to go afk vs ability to go afk vs likelihood i'll stay afk — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 8, 2013
a cool thing that most ppl don't know about me is that if you believe in reincarnation i am almost definitely an avatar for basquiat — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 8, 2013
re pretweet, was born 15 days after basquiat died, jus sayin, not bragging, don't believe in reincarnation, don't enjoy heroin, etc — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 8, 2013
briefly felt ~80% certain ability to process that all girls have nose hair was the only possible expression of 'feminism' — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 9, 2013
[something abt outward enthusiasm sometimes contrasting internal despair] — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 9, 2013
Domestic Instinct wants to send you push notifications(Allow) (Don't Allow, lol jk) — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 9, 2013
tripped while focused on iphone, walking through 'ghetto'/'barrio' near my house, browsed nervously to see if any 'gangsters' saw — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 10, 2013
briefly felt frantic trying to remember a prospective tweet i thought but can't remember due to 4loko — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 11, 2013
i mean, c'mon... — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 12, 2013
girl i like refuses to date me but insists i don't need okcupid to find ppl who might date me — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 13, 2013
felt convinced i saw a picture of myself scrolling through google image search results for 'bill gates mug shot' — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 13, 2013
felt extreme surprise upon discovery that there isn't a parody site called 'wehateit dot com' — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 13, 2013
went to art show, saw girl i hadn't seen in ~1.5yrs, she stared at me w/o saying anything ~10secs, are we dating now — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 14, 2013
primatology prof facetiming the kids at dinner while boarding redeye to boston: 'champ, chimp, chomp, chump... wtf did you guys do t'chemp?' — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 14, 2013
thought 'who's a nigga gotta curse out to get verified up innis bish' — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 14, 2013
keep thinking 'hell yea, wanna get in on the ground floor of that fuckin ponzi scheme' re life — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 14, 2013
seems listening to a person ramble for a long time causes some level of empathy bc also human — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 14, 2013
novel titled 'i got a book in my jacket but don't call it a [pun]' — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 14, 2013
feel interested in reading an article listing all the psychological disorders steve irwin had — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 14, 2013
feel incapable of reconciling my non-existent sense of humor and god's infinite sense of not having cared enough to grant me one — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 14, 2013
woke up to rush limbaugh's voice — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 14, 2013
read an article in 'usa today' that was almost entirely adjectives, acronyms, pronouns... — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 14, 2013
unstable 16yos who seem comfortable on and unsurprised by the internet are the new unstable 16yos with guns rapping abt [lost train if thot] — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 14, 2013
ppl can talk to a person who isn't there long enough to feel convinced they're rly talking to someone — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 14, 2013
what if i sent every one of y'alls fucking emails to the spam folder, what then — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 14, 2013
currently contemplating starting a tumblr called 'tumblr 2' that only reblogs things from the homepage — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 14, 2013
survival guide titled 'how to be an american shithead' — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 14, 2013
watching ppl have sex on a screen seems like a form of torture — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 14, 2013
hey any you guys wanna break-up — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 14, 2013
reminder that every aspect of your perception, including, but not limited to your understanding of the concept of 'illusion' is an illusion — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 16, 2013
received a message on okcupid that said 'hey send me that dick art' — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 16, 2013
'seems emo': a compliment from the perspective of the extremely emotionally detached — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 17, 2013
slept ~13hrs and missed a lot of shit happen but now feel deflated like that decomposing fox after the fly larvae break the skin, feel me? — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 19, 2013
thought 'should i just 'go viral' i've been putting it of for years...' — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 19, 2013
became aware i almost exclusively think about the way molly soda's teeth are shaped, not what she posts, when i look at her tumblr — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 19, 2013
crisis crisis crisis crisis crisis crisis crisis crisis crisis crisis crisis — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 21, 2013
indescribable urge to have every type of body modification done to me, to be a fucking monster — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 21, 2013
calmly typing this in my bathroom and the ventilation fan is soothing but my internal monologue is just shittalking itself so there's that — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 21, 2013
haven't actually felt sex feelings toward any male humans except 1970s dennis cooper, sry boys... — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 21, 2013
if anyone wants to pay me per freakout tweet that would be a convenient reverse psychology method to get me to stop — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 21, 2013
antithetical muskrat — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 21, 2013
'not very savvy but oh so sassy' is a thing abt myself i just typed and wish i hadn't — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 21, 2013
imagined a videogame called 'cruisin the void' that's an avatar staring at a clock 80-110yrs varying based on an insanely complex algorithm — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 21, 2013
gonna fuck this twitter.com/stephenunedite… — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 21, 2013
~147 billion modern humans in the last 100,000yrs and ppl aren't terrified to procreate yet? — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 21, 2013
i mean, c'mon... — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 21, 2013
stealing my dad's belt, money, genetics bc im dad too, i feel entitled to this shit — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) April 26, 2013
misread 'facebook' as 'fuuucck' — ❀buttercup❀ (@stephenunedited) May 1, 2013
—
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